InsaneJournal

Fate
Nothing happens by chance, my friend... No such thing as luck. A meaning behind every little thing, and such a meaning behind this. Part for you, part for me, may not see it all real clear right now, but we will, before long.
~Richard Bach

A year ago I never would have thought I would be where I am now.  Of course I knew I would be in college, but I thought it would be Columbia, not Chicago U.   I thought I would be partying and living it up in college.  I love partying still, I love going to the bars and everything, I do, but I think I went out more in high school than I do now.

A year ago I liked any boy.  Not that I fucked every boy like people thought.  But I liked flirting and I liked going out with people.  I never in a million years would have thought that I would have met someone like Dom.  He's opened my heart and he's made me realize what I want out of life.  Eventually I could see myself marrying him.  Some time down the road, not tomorrow.  He married young before and it ended.  Even if I'm not her I want to wait with him.  We waited for so long for our first kiss, for the first time we made love.  Yes.  I said those three words together-we made love- instead of we fucked each others brains out.  Not that we haven't done that either.   But I love how he makes me feel, and I love him.  And someday maybe I want this love to be forever.  Or if for some reason we ever part ways, at least I will know I want to love someone like I love him.

I never thought i would still be in Chicago.  But when we became official in August I didnt want to lose that already.  And I'm glad I stayed.  Im glad I could be there when his mom died, I'm glad I could be there when things went bad, I'm glad I could be there to learn about the other amazing thing in my life. 

Alyssa.  Never ever ever would I have thought even in my wildest dreams that I could ever picture myself with a child.  Marriage was a stretch but a child?  Never.  But then he learned about Alyssa, and I found myself telling him he had to fight for her, that she had to be here with us.  And I love that little girl.  Maybe I still need to get into mom mode sometimes, sometimes I don't think I'm that good.  But she's just... something.  I love when I can tuck her in, or we can play while Dom unwinds from work.  I love when I get to just hold her and talk to her and be with her.  She's made this part of my heart, this part I never knew I had, even bigger.

Maybe this life so far isnt what I thought Id have.  But I do think I like it alot better.

And...thats my whole reflective update.